We had a visit with Ari last weekend. It is amazing to me how much she grows and changes between each visit.
My thoughts and feelings about Ari are often hard to put into words. There is one thing about Ari I KNOW! She is our little girl and will forever be our 4th child.
The depth of our love for her makes it so difficult to not share the 24x7 of life with her. When she comes to visit us the reality of that loss is HUGE! The truth of it all is...we wouldn't change it. God has purpose and plan. A friend encouraged me with these words recently, she is right where God wants her, to want her anywhere else is selfish? You see, it would not be what is best for her.
I cannot tell you how happy her mom is! She loves her sweet Ari so much. Ari has changed and impacted many lives, including mine, her mom's and most of yours! It is Ari that God used as a tool to show Himself to her mom for the first time. You know what? God isn't about to stop! She has been, and will continue to be used by God to make an impact for His kingdom.
I feel so blessed and privileged to be her "Mommy Amy"! As a mommy it is not easy to "share" that role. I think that is because we really weren't designed to share it. So, in that I see it is God that enables my heart to do what is not "natural". Do you know how important this is. Not only for Ari, but for Libi Faith. They both have "mommies". They both need to love their "mommies". I am a huge part of giving them the freedom to do that.
The Lord has used our precious Ari to prepare us for her sweet sister Libi Faith. Believe me, Ari gets it that she is coming, and she knows right where she is going to have her sit! She tells us, "she is going to sit RIGHT HERE!" and pats her hands on her lap! She also thinks she is going on the plane with us to get her... :) I cannot wait for the day when my 2 little girls meet! I can just imagine their reactions...one will be loud and overwhelming, the other having a very furrowed brow...you can guess which is which.
We will be leaving in just 10 days! I will post more details soon....
Thank you for sharing in this with us. It makes it so much more fun!!!
3 comments:
Amy - I can't put into words the ache and the void in my heart for sweet little Ari. And yet I know it is so much smaller than the ache and the void in yours. These pictures make me miss her incredibly! In my mind, she will always be YOUR little girl. :) I praise the Lord that He holds her in his hands and that she hold Him in her heart. (O the blood of Jesus!)
Love you! Sherry
Oh Amy.. she is so beautiful. And WOW - she has gotten so big. Thank you again for sharing your lives and hearts with us. Where is a picture of you and Ari?
love,
Linda
O.K.....I'm in tears....I understand the pain that is involved in sharing a child, (Mandy's sweet Noah)and I also understand the peace that comes when we remind ourselves that God has a plan and we know that His plan is for that child to be right where they are! Oh, the peace that only comes from Him...it is SUCH A COMFORT!
I was reminded this morning of Hannah and Samuel. Hannah wanted a child so badly. When God gave Samuel to Hannah, she gave him back to God, for His service. When he was very young Hannah took Samuel to the temple and left him there to serve God. Just like you said Amy, it must have been so painful to not be able to live out the 24-7 of life with the son she had longed for. But Hannah looked at the bigger picture...at God's picture. This is part of Hannah's prayer when she left Samuel to God's service. It's from The Message and it's not her whole prayer.
"Hannah prayed: I'm bursting with God-news! I'm walking on air. I'm dancing my salvation. Nothing and no one is holy like my God, no rock mountain like our God.
For God knows what's going on.
He takes the measure of everything that happens.
For the very structures of earth are God's;
He has laid out His operations on a firm foundation.
He protectively cares for His faithful friends, step by step,
God will set things right all over the earth,
He'll set His anointed on top of the world!"
God had BIG plans for Samuel just like He does for Ari and He's used you in His plan just like He used Hannah! What a privilege to be a witness to His workings!
Love and prayers, Lisa
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